January 15, 2012, Sunday

Life’s standstill right now. I’m feeling as if I’ve wasted time. I’ve been doing everything for my studies, but the more I do them, the more senseless life comes out. I should be enjoying my free time with friends, but instead, I’m stuck here studying for the coming preliminary exams. Even the past weeks felt like a breeze. I was living through it as a hollow embodiment of my academic alter-ego (which is also failing me). 

When did life pass by so fast. My classes for most of the time are for only 3 hours, yet every minute feels like an eternity. I keep on eyeing at the moment when the bell rings and I go home, going back to my senseless routine of doing absolutely nothing. When did life feel so dead? I’m looking forward to nothing now. I used to see college as a thrill, but compared to High School, it is less complicated but it’s utterly lifeless and dull. I’m not saying it’s easy. My grades aren’t looking all that good either, but the thing is, nothing’s keeping me up to do these things anymore. I used to have late night cramming sessions with Wisdom, so I really didn’t feel alone during those times, but now, when I study at around 12 midnight, I fall silent with my pen and books in front of me, realizing how alone I am. The voices that used to make late night sessions worthwhile is gone now. 

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